Hol Up! The Kingdom of the Clap Back is in ‘These Hands’


So here is the thing.


In the past three years, I’ve had the misfortune of getting to know an interesting side of church community that I never really knew existed. As a person who has given up a great deal on a personal level to follow Christ, I naturally assumed everyone was coming to church for Jesus and to get their life right...right? Wrong.

Apparently, some of us go to church to show off and be seen (which would explain people wearing shades like Diddy in a room with no natural sunlight, or rocking heels they couldn’t keep on all service cuz it was crushing their corns) — I thought it was strange, but never quite said anything because well, do you boo boo. What somebody decides to focus on is none of my business.


Other groups of people came to be loved, but got pissed if the pastor told them not to fornicate or do credit fraud (Yo. That’s like the pastor‘s WHOLE job, bruh). The whole point is for them to let you know when you doin‘ the most (like when they call me to the carpet about my blog and social media posts). I actually needed that kind of correction coming to church because everyone else in my personal life was afraid of me (for reasons I shall not disclose 🤗).

I was also never the type of person who came to church looking for validation or clout. I am confident enough in who I am in Christ that his vision for my life needs no co-signer or cheerleading squad. This is not Bring It On or Gangs of New York. It’s church!


I am also not thirsty for anyone to support or champion me because he has already proven to me that if I keep first things first (my household and his kingdom — which extends beyond a building, congregation, and one day of the week), HE will do all the marketing, promoting, and elevating necessary. HE will send the help, appoint prayer warriors, and mentors. (Plug: Mighty Manny is still on sale, btw).



Where we got the GAME. MESSED. UP. is when folk thought they were about disrupt my life and peace because they did not figure out how to achieve peace, alignment, contentment and appropriate boundaries in their own lives.


I love people. I love to serve. But if you think I’m about to compromise my household and do things Jesus never said to play up to people’s emotions and pretend we good when we are not, you’ve got another thing coming. In 2021, let’s agree to disagree, say hello and keep it movin’, please. Keep the shakara for your momma and ‘em. I don’t bother anybody, but I promise you (boo boo), I will disrupt your whole situation if you come for me and mine (men and women included).

This right here is my world. Please don’t make me have to show you just how strong the Kung Fu grip of love around my husband’s arm is.

Now that we got that five paragraph public service announcement clear and squared away....


Have a happy holiday season, saints 😊. Can’t wait to kiss and make up after the plague has passed. Don’t come over here coughing in my baby’s atmosphere cuz you decided to attend a maskless corona virus party (something I thought was SUPER basic and obvious)...and if you ever forget this long drawn out message in the future, just remember these two lines:


“Try him (As in Jesus. NOT my husband or son), but please don’t try me.” The t-shirt and cup can be found at our online shop: www.theezbreezyshop.com


Now back to building this altar, Nehemiah style. Please share this post with the favorite friend you like to gossip with at church so they too are aware: the kingdom of the clap back is at hand 🖐 if they try it again.


P.S. To my pastors and mommies in the church:


Sorry, Oh! Pęlę 🙏🏾 Some things needed to be said — Some misconceptions corrected. Now that we all know ourselves in real life and on the gram, I am sure peace will reign.

Love you all with the love of Jesus.


Signed,


Your Favorite’s Favorite


#WeaponInOneHand #BibleInTheOther #TheLordIsKind #ThankGodIAmNotGod #PublicFigure #ButImNotMichelle #IAintOprah #YouWillGetTheseHands #InTheSpirit #ThisIsAmerica #DontCatchYouSlippinUp

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