It is time that I come out and admit that I am addicted to Pinterest. I had it for two years before I realized how it actually worked.
Creating boards became a fascination of mine and when Pinterest began adding DIY and “How to” videos, my whole life turned around. But creating boards is totally different than me actually building the ideas I save. This is where I needed some muscle - aka my husband.
I am married to a partner that I believe can literally do anything. While his daily profession can be seen as simply blue collar and at the bottom of the barrel, I’m here to tell you that auto mechanics are the surgeons for cars – something that we use daily.
I’ve watched my husband build and fix so many things over the years that it makes me think he’s in the wrong profession. The way he memorizes certain things or thinks so quickly on his feet is literally outstanding. I realized that I needed to figure out a way to transfer his talents.
Before I set my husband on a construction journey, I saw his ability to be a scientist, a baker, a chemist, a motivational speaker, a professor, a photographer, or anything that didn’t include him sitting behind a desk.
Over the years I have felt it is my duty to encourage him in all areas; however, encouragement is very different than dictating. As a recovering control freak, I can now share that in the past I have told my husband what to do or who he should be, but due to his strong-willed nature and grounded faith in God, he was always a man with a backbone who stood his ground.
All that to say, he never let me push him around and while that was never my intention, I now see how it could’ve turned out that way.
10 years later, we would probably be living in a pool of resentment where he would be stripped of his hobbies, friends, and everything that made him who he is at the core – the man that I decided to marry.
As we evolved together, I began encouraging him in ways that transferred his skills in memorizing race car parts to memorizing financial literacy. There was a block that existed with my husband where he wasn’t able to see his full capability, and God told me that it was my duty as his wife and friend to bring it out gracefully.
Grace is one of those interesting things that takes time to build - grace for mistakes, grace for forgetfulness, and overall grace for loving them where they are.
There is a difference between someone who is trying and someone that doesn’t care at all. Terrance was always someone that cared. Does he become frustrated at times? Absolutely, but only one of you are allowed to freak out at a time.
Through our partnership, I have learned that I can convince my husband to do anything by:
1. Instilling confidence
2. Being his ride or die
3. Praying on it
Yup, being his number one cheerleader. Instilling words of affirmation that he is kind, he is smart, and he is important is what will lead to change.
Sometimes we ourselves don’t see our abilities and how high we can actually go. That is why being in a relationship that pours into each other is so important. We don’t get anywhere when my frustration takes over and conversations get heated. Literally nowhere, so what’s the point
BEING HIS RIDE OR DIE
Insert Ruff Ryder Anthem here >>>
Being my husband’s Ride or Die has been exciting, frustrating, and also frightening – sometimes all at the same time. Being his ride or die also translates to being his manager. It is being the one who offers advice, listens, and works with him to take our next steps.
Marriage is a covenant that says we choose to be with this person through thick and thin - no matter the outcome, we are still there. I haven’t always approved of everything, but I can say that I have always accepted him and faithfully trusted where he guided this family and our marriage.
PRAYING ON IT
Oh friend, if you only knew the power of prayer. We need a whole thesis and more pages to talk about the power of prayer. You know how we have all these quotes and positive affirmations that we are told to repeat and speak into existence?
That’s what prayer is but 1000X stronger, because prayer is rooted in the word of God that is the guide to life. Whether you’re a follower of Christ or not, choose to pray, choose to mediate, choose to think sober, and choose to speak life into.
The power of life and death is in the tongue, so do whatever you do and make sure you do it loud!
While I value our marriage as a whole, the thing that I value the most is our trust in each other. No marriage or person is ever perfect, but having the ability to reset each time and build up rather than break down takes time and effort.
It’s important to your overall mental state of mind and soul to find someone that you work well with – you owe it to yourself mama.
Karina Daves is passionate about being there for women, specifically moms, that need tools and confidence to keep going, no matter where they are in life. She provides moms with the tricks and tools that they need to maintain their sanity and achieve their best life and relationship GOALS! She's excited to be here for you! Check her out at https://www.karinafdaves.com/