“All men lie and cheat.”
Yup, that was my core belief about men in college. I am not sure when I picked up this train of thought, I just know I believed it well into my twenties. It never dawned on me until the graduate program that I had allowed my friend groups and family of origin to define how I saw men.
As a result, none of my relationships were able to make it past the three-month mark. I would meet someone, they would make a mistake as all human beings inevitably do, and then I would use those mistakes as an excuse to break up.
This pattern repeated itself in my life over and over again until I challenged myself to either change my mind, or begin to look for different traits in potential partners. In order to change my train of thought, I had to break away from those who reaffirmed those beliefs and choose to see the opposite sex differently.
This kind of toxic thinking didn't just impact my intimate relationships, it truly permeated every aspect of my life until I made a decision to change my mind.
What beliefs may be hurting your chances at love, success and happiness?
No matter what it is you feel may be lacking in your life, there may be a core belief hindering the move of God and manifestation of blessings in that area of your life. The bible teaches us that as a man thinketh, so is he.
Some beliefs have the power to stop you in your tracks. If you believe that you could never run a marathon, you’d never try. Some toxic beliefs can permeate multiple areas of your life.
These beliefs are more damaging than specific beliefs. Believing you can never learn to manage money will place a barrier on your ability to make and retain wealth.
Here are some toxic thoughts you need to rid yourself of today:
1. It’s too late, or I’m too old.
Sometimes it is too late. You’re probably not going to start playing in the NBA if you’re 43 years old. But the number of things you can do is far greater than the number of things you can’t.
Colonel Sanders didn’t settle on a chicken recipe until he was 49 years old. Yet, you know who he is and you’ve eaten his chicken.
There have been a few medical students that didn’t get started until their 50’s. Avoid jumping to conclusions regarding your age. You can do a lot more than you think.
2. Failure is bad.
Failure is normal. If you’re living, you’re also failing from time to time. The trick is to fail in the right way and make good use of it. Failure is nothing more than an undesired result. The bible teaches us that the righteous fall seven times, but stand up eight.
Take the opportunity to learn from your failures and adjust your approach. If one way doesn’t work, try another. If you continue to improve your method, how can you possibly fail over the long haul?
3. The past equals the future.
You have an amazing ability to change and adapt. Just because you’ve been lazy, made poor choices, been uneducated, had poor social skills, or self-destructed in the past doesn’t mean the future can’t be different.
The past only affects you if you permit it. You can choose to drop the past and live in the present by choosing to renew your mind with the word of God. I renew my mind by searching for inspiring sermons on YouTube, or podcasts based on personal development.
4. People will criticize me, laugh at me, or think little of me.
You’re right. They will. This isn’t an inaccurate belief, but it’s harmful to be concerned about the opinions of others. No matter what you do, there are people that won’t be impressed. And there’s always someone ready to make a negative comment.
Why do you care? Opinions don’t pay bills or change your circumstances. You don’t have time to worry about such silliness. You’re no longer in high school, so let go of the peer pressure. Even Noah was mocked before the flood came.
5. I’m not smart, good with money, good with people, educated enough, special, or _________________(fill in the blank).
No one is good at everything. You can learn to be good at whatever skill you’re lacking. Don’t know how to save money? Read a book. Not good with people? Take a class. Lacking in real estate knowledge? Find a mentor.
You have to develop a growth mindset and tell yourself that you are beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of Christ. Listen to our podcast episode on cultivating a growth mindset to learn ways you can level up.
Successful people are often surprisingly ordinary. You don’t have to do anything spectacular to have spectacular results. You can find or create whatever you’re currently lacking.
A toxic belief could be holding you back from the success you deserve. These negative beliefs are difficult to recognize because you’ve been carrying them around for so long. Do a personal inventory and evaluate all the beliefs that inhibit you:
How do you know they’re true?
What are they costing you?
Get rid of them and proceed to bring your dreams to life!
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