I plopped onto a chair in my mentor's office and began to cry. I sobbed as I told her how exhausted and overworked I was. I was recently married, had recently gotten a promotion, trying to conceive, but was afraid the stress from my workplace was too much on my mind and body. I wanted to be a career powerhouse, but I also wanted to be a great wife and mom -which were all new feelings for me.
For 10 years, my career had been my baby. I nurtured it, fed it, groomed it, and guarded it with my life. It had become clear to me that my life was out of balance. I needed to make a shift. Between working 60 hours, and volunteering my time for church and every other commitment I said yes to before thinking, I was sinking under pressure.
I somehow thought that my overworking and over-commitment of my time was the way to show love and service to those around me. I prioritized the needs of others before my own and gave those closest to me scraps of what was left when the job, church, and associates had stripped me of my energy.
I would come home and be annoyed that I was also expected to actually upkeep my home. Aside from that, being newlywed after living alone for ten years felt like I'd lost the few moments of silence I so greatly cherished at the end of my day. I was successful, but I was not "well".
As our society becomes more connected, fast-paced, and obsessed with productivity, many of us have become masters of looking like we are winning than actually winning the game of life. As a straddling millennial, I often find myself feeling as though taking time to reflect, rest and simply be with those I love is the equivalence of laziness.
Fortunately, I have learned hard way that rest and "white space" on my calendar are just as important as meetings, strategizing, and goal-getting. A huge part of my professional life (or I like to say calling) is now dedicated to helping talented, gifted, high-achieving young adults to also make decisions about priorities, balance, and relationships. I love the work I do, mainly because I understand the struggle my students face daily.
As women, it is important that we consider all 9 dimensions of our wellness. Yes, according to The Ohio State University, there are NINE! We will focus on 8 below.
The emotionally well person can identify, express and manage the entire range of feelings and would consider seeking assistance to address areas of concern.
The professionally well person engages in work to gain personal satisfaction and enrichment, consistent with values, goals, and lifestyle.
The socially well person has a network of support based on interdependence, mutual trust, respect and has developed a sensitivity and awareness towards the feelings of others.
The spiritually well person seeks harmony and balance by openly exploring the depth of human purpose, meaning, and connection through dialogue and self-reflection.
The physically well person gets an adequate amount of sleep, eats a balanced and nutritious diet, engages in exercise for 150 minutes per week, attends regular medical check-ups and practices safe and healthy sexual relations.
The financially well person is fully aware of financial state and budgets, saves and manages finances in order to achieve realistic goals.
The intellectually well person values lifelong learning and seeks to foster critical thinking, develop moral reasoning, expand worldviews and engage in education for the pursuit of knowledge.
The environmentally well person recognizes the responsibility to preserve, protect and improve the environment and appreciates the interconnectedness of nature and the individual.
After reviewing the dimensions of wellness, I am sure you can identify a few areas in your life where you might be sensing a struggle. The truth is, living our best life is about finding the right balance between all of our dimensions of wellness.
But it doesn't happen overnight, and we shouldn't put pressure on ourselves to pursue all areas, every single day. Rather, we should plan when we will engage in wellness activities pertaining to each area of our life.
I recommend getting a weekly planner. Yes, technology is an amazing tool, but it does not substitute putting pen to paper. I find that whenever I write vs "type" a God-given goal, my life somehow begins to move in that direction. But before I can set the goal, I need to assess and be honest with where I am in that area...lying to ourselves does not lead us to success, it only delays our progress.
I should also add that if you truly plan to meet all of these goals, you are going to need help! So as you set the goal, ask God to send you supernatural help. Then get into a position to receive that help when it comes your way.
I know, Alpha Woman, you are talented and feel you get it done better by yourself, but if you try to do it alone, you will fail. Period.
Just because you can do "all things" doesn't mean you should do them all by yourself, all the time. Even Jesus had twelves disciples to help him, so if you are taking notes from him, you will seek and accept help from others. The abundant, successful life is a team effort.
So now comes the work. Over the next few weeks, explore the nine dimensions of your wellness and truly doing the work to set some goals. But first, I want you to write down the eight dimensions and write out what's going well and where you need improvement. Remember, no one is perfect, so deficits are to be expected.
Get your planner and journal out, because we are going to get busy pursuing the abundant life, together !
What are the areas you feel you need to improve? Follow The EZ Breezy Life on Facebook and tell me all about it!
Love you much!
- Satta Star
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