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But on the Third Day…a Message About Child Loss

Good Friday!

Every day is a good day to celebrate the finished work of Jesus on the cross. I am so grateful to God today, as I honor the third heavenly birthday of our daughter, Sophia. 

Losing our daughter was the most devastating experience my partner, and I had to endure as a young couple. We prayed, hoped, believed, and felt abandoned and guilty when our prayers weren't answered the way we'd hoped.

What happens when the story ends in tears instead of praise? 

How do we love each other with grace and not turn to blame or shame? How do we mourn and find the courage to move forward? Is there hope on the other side of grief?

Healing is not a process we can time or rush. It has no script and follows no deadline. All we can do is commit to putting one foot in front of the other and taking moments to pause when the pain overwhelms us.

The comfort we found during our time of grief was to understand God is always close to the brokenhearted. In our moments of speechlessness and despair, God never left. He was always present. I still remember being in my living room and crying about our loss. I remember hearing deep in my spirit, “Do you know how many mothers have cried this very cry?” It didn’t seem right. In the very moment of my mourning came the need to empathize with the pain of other women. Why?

In looking back, I now realize when we ask God to use us, our family, and our children, we do not get to decide how. Total surrender means

God gets the glory, no matter the outcome. 

My point of view is not to suggest God kills babies. In fact, I believe untimely death is the exact opposite of God’s promises in the Bible. Nonetheless, I recognize what a fallen and broken world we live in, and how impossible it is to expect to walk through this journey called life completely unscathed. 

If Jesus wept, so will we. 

Yet and still, I commemorate the significance of it being the third year of Sophia’s heavenly transition. I celebrate the peace God gave me in knowing she transcended toward the light, accompanied by heaven’s angels.  I honor this significant third year of her passing falling on a Friday because I know that on the third day after a Friday, Jesus rose again. 

"Dear Mommy, I'm in a better place."

The number three is a special number. "The number three biblically represents divine wholeness, completeness, and perfection. If there ever was a desire to highlight an idea, thought, event, or noteworthy figure in the Bible for their prominence, the number three was used to put a divine stamp of completion or fulfillment on the subject"(The Kansas City Star).

Our family has suffered greatly. Yet here on this third day, "like air", we rise. Only God can get the glory for a miracle such as this. 

Rest well, my beloved Sophia. The star that will forever twinkle in mommy’s eye. 

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