I sure have come a long way from fighting in the hallway Of Ferris High School. As Youngbloodz so eloquently put it in their 2005 hit, “Don’t start no stuff, won’t be no stuff.” See, I never started anything, but if you brought it to me, I was sure to give you an unforgettable ending.
Ah, to be 21 and unaware of consequences and repercussions. Sometimes I want to go back, but I thank the Lord I am NOT there. On a more serious note, I want to discuss a topic that many alpha women and I have struggled with or continue to fight against--Anger—expressed anger. Hidden anger. “Twitter finger” anger. Just overall, "angry birds" anger, whether righteous or not, that can be truly destructive to our lives.
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1
I have struggled with anger for many years, and while I have mastered learning how to conceal this anger when necessary, sometimes it just seeps out…like venom. This is why the past few months have been about me praying for a heart transformation in this area because I am not willing to fake it. I also believe, though no accrediting medical body will likely confirm or deny, that unresolved anger within our hearts can cause physical ailments.
There is no shortcut to dealing with pent up childhood anger due to injustice or maltreatment, but its necessary work as I pursue the EZ Breezy Life. Anger is not one of those emotions you can stuff down. It will come out through sarcasm, rudeness, or blowups— and unless you are 18, you probably have something you cannot afford to lose because of a lack of self-control. That being said, the “Love is…Not Easily Angered” episode gave a small glimpse into biblical definitions of anger, and how God would like to see us handle this emotion.
I don’t believe God wants us never to feel anger. In fact, the Bible teaches that we should “hate evil”. I think God wants us to learn healthy coping strategies and biblical truths surrounding anger so that it does not control or, even worse, ruin our lives.
Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. - Psalm 119:133
Unaddressed anger can destroy relationships and opportunities. It's not something you can conceal or bury, hoping it never resurfaces. Eventually, that infection will begin to puss, and people will see and smell it. It takes deep, thorough heart work, and a level of vulnerability most alpha women find uncomfortable to truly unearth it. No pain means no gain...and sometimes the only way through is “through.”
Love you much,
Issata “Satta Star” O.
(She who struggles through)