I felt it for the first time this week — Mommy guilt. I love to work. I love my career. I love planning for EZ Breezy Life and developing new ideas for children’s church. I love developing ideas for my husband’s and my endeavors.
But sometimes, my passions put me into tunnel vision. In those moments, it’s usually a gentle nudge from my husband that lets me know I’ve overstepped a boundary. This boundary, in my view, is the boundary that creates balance in our lives.
You may have heard the saying that balance is a myth. But I believe the balance is possible if there is synergy in our lives. Balance is possible if there is alignment with our strengths, skills, passion, and purpose. But even when we find synergy in these areas, we have to continually remind ourselves that we wear multiple hats.
As a wife and working mom with entrepreneurial aspirations, I often find myself locked in our home office either preparing for work, class, or some other project I am really in love with at the moment. It’s not until my husband knocks on the door and asks what I’m doing that I realize I have spent 4-5 hours at the computer immersed in whatever it is I’m working on at the time.
In the coming weeks, I will be working to intentionally be present when I am home. This will require an incredible amount of discipline, a level of self-control I’ve never had to exercise in the past. Before becoming a mother, my work was my baby; my projects were my babies. Our business was my baby. My role in ministry was my baby.
But I am learning day by day, that my first ministry, my primary purpose, is being a wife and mom. While my brain can recognize this, I realize that my behavior patterns communicate otherwise.
As a woman in ministry, I have learned that I will be pulled and pushed in many different directions. It is my responsibility to create a balance that no one else can create for me. It is my duty to establish the boundaries that allow me to be the best for myself and my family. This week was tough.
I felt disconnected from my son because work and life have been so busy lately. But I know that as I commit it to God, he will help me set aside the appropriate time and set proper priorities. It is always good to know I can invite God into any situation or circumstance.
It is comforting to know that I don’t need to have the wisdom to manage all of the things on my plate, I can simply pray and ask God for guidance and listen for his whisper in the wind.
If you are struggling with mommy guilt, I encourage you to invite God into the situation. I heard a sermon the other day where the speaker said God is a gentleman; he will not impose himself into a situation where you have not invited him. I encourage you to invite him today; he wants to help you.
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