Rebuilding Faith and Trust in God After Experiencing Deep Trauma

When we lost Sophia, my world shattered in ways I never imagined possible. I had heard stories of babies dying, but I never thought I would be the one to live through it. The moment I saw her lying still on that morgue table, it felt like the air left my lungs forever. She looked peaceful, as if asleep, but in that moment, it wasn’t just my daughter who was gone—something inside me died too.

The dream I had for my life, the happy story of being a fulfilled mother of twins, vanished instantly. Along with that dream, my hope, my trust in people, my faith in my marriage, and even my trust in the church crumbled. If I had to name one defining moment in my life, it would be the day Sophia died. This experience forced me to confront a question I never wanted to face: Can I trust God again after trauma?

The Death of Old Trusts

Losing Sophia didn’t just break my heart; it shattered the foundations I had built my life on. My self-reliance died. The armor of strength I wore to protect myself fell away. I stopped believing blindly in “men of God” just because they had been around longer or seemed more experienced. The habit of following instructions without question, even when they didn’t feel right, faded. I even stopped pretending to be okay so others could feel better. This painful dismantling was necessary. So much of what I had trusted could not survive the storm of grief and loss. It was as if God allowed these parts of me to die so something new could grow.

The year after Sophia’s death was a time of deep reflection and painful discovery. I saw parts of myself I had never noticed before. I realized how much I had been holding onto control and certainty, trying to make life fit into a neat plan. But trauma doesn’t work that way. It forces you to face uncertainty and vulnerability. During this time, I learned that trusting God again does not mean everything will be okay or that prayers will be answered the way I want them to be. Instead, it means finding a new kind of surety, one that comes from surrender rather than control.

Trusting God after trauma is different from the trust I had before. It is not based on outcomes or feelings. It is built slowly, through small steps and honest conversations with God. Here are some ways I found helpful in rebuilding that trust:

• Allow yourself to grieve fully. Don’t rush through pain or pretend it’s not there. Grief is part of the process of healing and trusting again.

  
  

• Ask hard questions. It’s okay to be angry, confused, or doubtful. God can handle your questions and your pain.

  
  

• Seek a community that listens. Find people who will hold space for your grief without judgment, quick answers, or the need to rush with an encouraging scripture or "word" that falls flat.

  
  

• Practice small acts of faith. This could be reading a verse, praying a simple prayer, finding an encouraging YouTube video to play in the mornings, or just sitting quietly with God.

  
  

• Be patient with yourself. Trust takes time to rebuild. There is no timeline or deadline. Also, God is not in a rush. He wants you healthy and whole.

  
  

One of the most surprising things I discovered was that vulnerability became a source of strength. When I stopped pretending to be strong and allowed myself to be seen in my brokenness, I found a deeper connection with God and others. This kind of strength is quiet and steady. It does not depend on circumstances or feelings. It is a trust rooted in the presence of God, even when life feels unbearable.

Finding New Strength in Vulnerability

Rebuilding faith after trauma is not about forgetting or moving on quickly. It is about carrying the pain with you while learning to live again. It means holding onto hope, even when it feels fragile. Celebrating the dichotomy of being able to hold both joy and grief in one breath. If you are walking through a traumatic experience, know that you are not alone. Trust can be rebuilt, but it takes time and grace. Let yourself feel, question, and lean into God’s presence in whatever way feels real to you. Your story does not end with trauma. There is a new chapter waiting to be written...one where faith grows deeper, and trust is renewed in unexpected ways.

His yoke is easy, his burden is light.

-Issata <3