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Contentment and Happiness: An Inside Job

A happy woman in a field of sunflowers

For many of us, the pursuit of happiness and contentment seems like an external journey, often equated with accumulating possessions, reaching milestones, or achieving societal standards of success. However, real and lasting happiness is largely an inside job stemming from our thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions. While societal norms can often pressure women into believing that happiness lies in material wealth or outward achievements, it is crucial to understand that true contentment doesn't always require a price tag.

Understanding the Inner Source of Happiness

An old saying goes, "Wherever you go, there you are." It succinctly captures the essence that happiness doesn't necessarily lie "out there." If we're discontented internally, no amount of external achievement or validation will bring genuine, lasting happiness.

While external circumstances can certainly influence our mood, our inner state determines how we perceive and react to these circumstances. Two people can experience the same event and have completely different reactions, proving that it's not just what happens to us but how we process and understand it that matters. I often find that perspective determines how we rise from difficulty and that true internal joy and happiness comes from small, daily choices.

Cultivating happiness in our own lives requires intentionality and consistency.

Practical Steps for Women to Cultivate Inner Contentment Without Spending Money

1. Meditating on the Word of God

Taking a few minutes every day to read a devotional, meditate on biblical affirmations, or simply be present can drastically change our perspective. Mindfulness helps us become aware of our thoughts and feelings and not get swept away by them. It's a practice of observing our bodies, emotions, and reactions without judgment, which can lead to increased contentment.

2. Gratitude Journaling

Focus on the positives. Write down three things you're grateful for each day. This simple act can shift your focus from what's lacking or wrong to what's abundant and right in your life.

3. Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding as you would a dear friend. Instead of being your harshest critic, become your own cheerleader. When you feel down, give yourself permission to cry and feel your pain. You must first acknowledge, embrace, and then release bad emotions to move forward fully.

4. Limit Social Media Consumption

Constantly comparing ourselves to others can be a direct route to unhappiness. Remember, most people only showcase their highlights online. Taking regular breaks from social media can lead to a more contented and authentic life, or curate your social media timeline to be uplifting and healing for you.

5. Engage in Activities You Love

Reconnect with hobbies or activities you enjoy. Whether it's reading, drawing, gardening, or simply taking a walk, doing things that make you feel alive can be immensely satisfying.

6. Connect with Nature

Nature has a calming effect on our minds. Spend time outdoors, whether it's a park, a garden, or the countryside. The sounds, sights, and smells can be therapeutic.

7. Foster Genuine Connections

Deep and meaningful conversations with loved ones can offer comfort and understanding. Even if it's a simple call to a friend or family member, these connections can remind us of our shared human experience.

8. Affirmations

Words have power. Positive affirmations can reshape our beliefs and outlook on life. Start your day with statements like "I am enough," "I am deserving of happiness," or "I am in charge of how I feel today."

9. Limit Negative Inputs

Be cautious about the information you consume. Continuous exposure to negative news or toxic environments can affect our mental state. Try to surround yourself with positive influences and uplifting content.

10. Embrace Imperfections

Perfection is an illusion. Accepting ourselves, flaws and all, can be liberating. Remember, it's our quirks and imperfections that make us unique.

While societal pressures and norms can make it seem like happiness is a destination achieved through material gains, it's essential to remember that true contentment comes from within. By focusing on our inner world and understanding that happiness is truly an inside job, we can lead more fulfilling and authentic lives.

Photo of Issata Oluwadare

Issata Oluwadare is a dynamic leader and innovative systems thinker with fifteen years of leadership experience in the private and non-profit sectors. She is also a content creator, four-time #1 best-selling author, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, certified life coach & consultant for women in leadership and business, and the founder of The EZ Breezy Life. Issata is happily married with two children. Deeply rooted in Christ, she believes in transforming the lives of imperfect women through the grace of a perfect God. She is also the founder of The EZ Breezy Life, Manny's Village, and Issata O. Inc. Learn more about Issata O. by visiting


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