Making Life-Changing Decisions

Have you ever had a decision stare you in the face so hard that you start looking away, hoping it’ll magically disappear? Recently, I’ve been in this weird limbo where I know what I need to do, but I'm not accepting it. Whew. That’s another battle. So, if you’re in that place where the weight of a decision feels like carrying a bag of rice on your head, let’s talk about it.

There comes a time in life when you’re faced with decisions so big, so life-altering, that it makes you question everything—including whether or not it is time to make that decision. It could be looking for a new job, making that investment or if you should pack your bags and move to a remote island where decisions are limited to “coconut or mango for breakfast?” (Tempting, right?) Recently, I found myself at this very crossroads—staring at a decision that felt like it had the power to shape the rest of my life. And let me tell you, the pressure was PRESSURING. If you’re in the same boat, let’s talk about it: the fear, the what-ifs, and the undeniable fact that change is the only guarantee in life.

Change Is the Only Constant in Life—So Why Do We Fight It?

Honestly, if life had a slogan, it would be "Surprise!" because nothing stays the same forever. You blink, and boom—new responsibilities, new challenges, new reasons to question everything. The truth is, change is not asking for your permission—it’s happening anyway. And you should know that avoiding a decision is making a decision. Indecision keeps you stuck in a place that may not even be serving you because you have outgrown that place. So, would you rather make the move or have life push you? (Life is a rough pusher.)

As much as the idea of stability and control is pretty cool and comfortable, life reminds us that nothing stays the same forever. Whether it’s relationships, careers, or even our taste in music, change is inevitable. The problem is that we resist change like a babies who do not want to eat vegetables. Sometimes, even when we know deep down that this decision is necessary, the fear of the unknown makes us second-guess our good sense of reasoning and doubt ourselves. But the secret to life is that the best things usually come after a leap of faith. Staying in your comfort zone might feel safe and comfortable, but it also means you’re doing the same thing over and over again, missing out on the amazing possibilities in life, and stunting your ability to grow.

Why Are You So Afraid? (Spoiler: You’re Human)

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by the “what if” monster.

• What if I regret this?

• What if I fail?

• What if I look stupid?

• What if I ruin my life? (Because we love a little dramatic flair.)

Fear is normal, but it’s also a liar. Most of the time, the worst-case scenario never happens. And even if things don’t go as planned, guess what? You’ll adapt. You’ve survived 100% of your bad decisions so far—why stop now?

The fear of making big decisions is rooted in uncertainty. What if I make this decision and it turns out to be the worst thing ever, and I end up living in my mother’s basement eating instant noodles for the rest of my life? Okay, dramatic—but you get my point. Fear is a tool that the enemy uses to hold us back; Faith is the way to defeat fear. Fear could also be your brain’s way of trying to protect you from potential disaster, uncertainties or the unknown. But more often than not, that fear is exaggerated. Instead of letting it paralyze you, try to ask yourself: What’s the worst that can happen? What’s the best that can happen? The truth is, you can handle more than you think. The unknown is on in your mind, taking the leap with create the awareness you need. (And worst case scenario, you learn something new, gain a new hobby and find a different perspective of yourself.)

What Could Go Wrong? (And Why That’s Okay)

I am not underplaying the importance of something going wrong; when you try something completely new, mistakes are allowed; they are bound to happen because when you make big decisions everything isn’t sunshine and rainbows. Maybe the new job isn’t what you expected. Maybe moving to a new city feels lonelier than you thought. Maybe you’re second-guessing everything.

But the beautiful thing is that mistakes and unexpected outcomes are part of life. No decision comes with a 100% success guarantee (because if it did, wouldn’t that be nice?).

What matters is how you handle the twists and turns. What do you do when things don’t go as planned, you’re still growing, learning, and gaining experience. And, more importantly, you’re proving to yourself that you have the courage to take control of your own life.

Let’s be honest. Things could go wrong. You might take a new job and hate it. You might start a business and struggle at first. You might move to a new place and miss your old life. But here’s the thing: you’ll learn, you’ll grow, and you’ll figure it out.

What if it actually works out? What if this decision leads to something greater than you imagined? What if you finally get the peace, joy, or freedom you’ve been craving?

What if it’s exactly what you needed?

Benefits of Making Difficult Life-Changing Decisions

1. Freedom – No more overthinking at 2 AM. Once you decide, your mind can finally breathe.

2. Growth – Even if it’s tough, it’ll teach you something valuable.

3. Confidence – There’s something powerful about making a decision and standing by it.

4. No Regrets – Because the only regret worse than making the wrong decision is never making one at all. But instead of focusing on all the things that could potentially go wrong, let’s flip the script for a second. What if this decision turns out to be the best thing you ever did? What if, in a year, you’re looking back wondering why you didn’t do it sooner? Making bold choices can lead to personal growth, new opportunities, and a deeper connection with who you are meant to be and even a better understanding of yourself. Which is very priceless.

   
   

More importantly, making a decision that is yours—not your parents’, not your friends’, not society’s—means you get to own it fully. No regrets, no “what ifs,” just you embracing your choice and making the most of it.

How to Make Peace with Your Decision (And Shut Down the Worry)

1. Get clear on your ‘why.’ If your reason is strong enough, it will outweigh the fear.

2. Trust yourself. You are the one living this life, not anyone else. Make decisions that align with you.

3. Stop overthinking. No amount of stress will make the outcome more certain. (I know, tragic.)

4. Have a backup plan. Sometimes, just knowing you have a safety net can ease the anxiety.

5. Pray and breathe. Seriously, take a deep breath. God’s got you.

Big decisions will always be scary. But you know what’s even scarier? Staying stuck in the same place because you were too afraid to choose. Trust yourself, take the leap, and remember—no matter how it turns out, you’re growing, evolving, and becoming the best version of YOU. Making life-changing decisions is terrifying, but so is staying in the wrong place. At the end of the day, this is your life. You get to call the shots. You get to decide what’s best for you. So own your choice, stand by it, and trust that whatever happens—you’ll handle it like the boss that you are.

And if all else fails? There’s always ice cream and that remote island with unlimited mangoes. Just saying. 😉

Adeola Oladele is a passionate advocate for young girls, drawing from her own experiences of childhood abuse and struggles with self-identity. As the founder of Wsber Events, she creates bespoke, stress-free event experiences while also working to uplift and empower young women. Adeola believes no girl should feel unseen, unheard, or unworthy. Through her platform, she reminds young women that their past does not define them—they are diamonds in the rough, destined for greatness. 📌 Instagram | Blog