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Stop Begging People to Choose You: A Journey of Self-Love and Trust in God

A woman in red holding a bouquet of flowers
Give yourself the flowers you deserve

In our quest for love and validation, we often neglect the inherent love and worth we possess. Being a beacon of love and service shouldn’t translate to devaluing oneself. If you find yourself continuously offering love without reciprocity, it's time to introspect. We might inadvertently convey that it's okay to receive less than what we deserve.

One of the most challenging relationships that pushed me to prioritize myself was with my father. Our religious differences led to an ultimatum: choosing my faith or him. I chose my faith and, in turn, lost my relationship with my father. Such moments define our character, laying a foundation for how we perceive love, respect, and self-worth. God sometimes places us in challenging circumstances to strengthen our character. However, it's equally important to recognize when we're trapped in cycles of diminishing self-worth. Discerning between enduring hardships for a greater cause and remaining in a toxic situation can mean the difference between a lesson learned and unnecessary heartbreak.

Accepting less than what you deserve screams two things loud and clear:

  • A Lack of Self-Love: Engaging in relationships that continuously undermine your worth implies a lack of self-love. Remember Maya Angelou's words: "When people show you who they are the first time, believe them."

  • A Lack of Trust in God: When we desperately cling to people or situations, it reflects our lack of faith in God's plan for us. It's crucial to trust that He will guide our paths to fulfilling relationships and situations.

In the Christian community, humility is often misunderstood as being a doormat. While it’s important to remain grounded, it's equally vital to recognize and embrace our worth. Being humble doesn't equate to accepting less than what we deserve or accepting abuse in our relationships. Today, I urge you to introspect: Do you truly love and value yourself? Do you trust God's plans for you? If you find yourself begging for love or acceptance, it's time to realign with the principles of self-worth and trust in the Divine plan.

Remember, every moment and every relationship offers lessons. Let's strive to surround ourselves with relationships that uplift us, challenge us, and, most importantly, value us.

Issata Oluwadare is a dynamic leader and innovative systems thinker with fifteen years of leadership experience in the private and non-profit sectors. She is also a content creator, four-time #1 best-selling author, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, certified life coach & consultant for women in leadership and business, and the founder of The EZ Breezy Life. Issata is happily married with two children. Deeply rooted in Christ, she believes in transforming the lives of imperfect women through the grace of a perfect God. She is also the founder of The EZ Breezy Life, Manny's Village, and Issata O. Inc. Learn more about Issata O. by visiting

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