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The God Who Sees Me

NICU God service
Photo by Luis Machado on Unsplash

I will never forget the morning she strolled into our room. As I sat there holding Emmanuel with over 30 wires flowing from his body, I felt heavy. My spirit felt heavy. My eyes felt heavy. The burden on my shoulders felt heavy.     

She stepped into the room like an angel. Full of bubbly energy. She was from Cuba where she used to be a doctor and was now a respiratory therapist within the same system that my child was hospitalized.

All of a sudden, she started to talk to me about her faith and the importance of taking care of myself. She started to talk to me about these nutrients that she was taking and how they helped her feel 20 years younger. I felt refreshed just being around her. Whatever she had, I knew that I wanted it.

Something about that conversation let me know that God saw me. He saw my heaviness, he saw my tears, he saw my regret, he saw my sorrow, in the midst of my trouble--he was there. This is just one of the many examples where I saw God use people to build me up. I learned that when God wants to do something on this earth, he needs people. He needs willing people, serving people, loving people. We are his hands and feet.

When God wants to do something on this earth, he needs people. He needs willing people, serving people, loving people. We are his hands and feet.

My professional career has always been divinely orchestrated by God. My first job as a Peer Mentor came by appointment. Someone asked me to apply for the job, I never looked for it on my own. At the time, I can’t even say that I had a servant's heart. But my advisor and counselor saw something in me that I did not see in myself. He pushed and lobbied for me to get the job. I’m not even sure that I did a good job in the interview.

Over the course of six summers, I would serve through the educational opportunity program. This program was designed to help first-generation college students like myself transition into the college experience. Students came through the program from all walks of life and stories, some more difficult than others. Some were already parents, some came through the foster care system, what was amazing about being a part of that program is that it put me on a path for a career in service. 

I love the work that I do. Mostly because someone took a chance on me and every day I get the opportunity to take a chance on a young person. Every day, I get to sit across a young person who is struggling and be their bridge over troubled waters. It is a career grounded in service and I love it. 

My parents were such great role models of service. Every time my father took in a child or struggling relative he would tell me, "I am not doing this because of me, I am doing it for you". As a selfish middle child, I couldn’t understand how giving up my bed or sharing my room was for me. But my father knew something about seedtime and harvest that I wouldn’t understand until far later in my life.

Today, when I walk through storms or go through situations when I feel pressed down, I believe the service of my mother and father speak for me. In turn, I pray my service at church, my job, and in my community speak for my son.

Every time I choose to leave him at home and fulfill the assignment God has put on my heart, or choose to help a struggling neighbor, I pray somewhere someone is doing the same for my son. I pray God sees those seeds and multiplies them in the life of my child.

We live in interesting times. We live in a generation of eye service. The Me-Generation has now become the iGeneration. At times, we serve alongside others but our hearts are not the same. The good news is God sees the heart.

When you serve from a place of purity, when you serve from a place of excellence, when you serve for the greater good and not for recognition, God sees and rewards you. 

This morning, I woke up feeling a bit down. I thought about how the people around me had no idea about the cross I carry on a daily basis. I thought about how most times, people come into my life to add to my list of things to do rather than help me carry those burdens.

Just before I went into a downward spiral of feeling sorry for myself, I felt a nudge from the holy spirit, "This is not about you. Get over yourself. There are people on the other side, there is an assignment on your life. Focus on the vision and assignment." You see, I have learned that when I go about doing what God has laid on my heart to do, he fights all of my battles. 

We cannot proclaim that God fights all of our battles if we refuse to participate and actively support his.

There is a battle. Some people call it a battle between good and evil, heaven and hell, but I know that in order for God’s kingdom to come down on earth we must be His hands and feet. And so my life has been dedicated to being his hands, feet, and mouthpiece everywhere I go.

The more I serve him, the more I lift him up, the more I prioritize his assignment on my life and the life of my husband and son, the more breakthroughs I see. God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him, he is also the one who tests and knows the deep meditations of our hearts. 

I want to encourage you to serve your way up. Don’t post your way up. Don’t photoshop your way up. Don’t market your way up.

"You can't Instagram integrity and you can't Facebook faithfulness."- Michael Todd.

So serve. Joshua was a servant. David was a servant. Esther desired to serve. Every person God chose to elevate in the Bible was first a servant. We serve by doing right by our family, our boss, our employees, our community, and our church.

We serve by taking extreme ownership over anything entrusted into our hands. We serve by honoring those in authority. We serve by putting the needs of others before our own.

God wants to see you serve. He needs to see you serve before he can trust you with the blessing.

-Satta Star

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